Too Old for School

I just realized that I'm too old to be able to go back to school. I know you're thinking: WHAAAAAT?!But you're soooo young!

Thought process below:

C and I went to the Art Institute today and had a FABULOUS time with the representative. She was really sweet and she kept telling me I have potential and I'm my worst critic... all the normal things that are absolutely true. We really liked it! it's probably about 10 minutes away from work, the classes are once a week for 4 hours, and the instructors are in the field. She determined I would be good at Graphic Design (C wants me to do Web Design/Development too) which was surprising because I never thought of myself as a graphic designer, there's too much creativity that goes in to that!

So we hear all these great things and we're all pumped up to do it, start the application process, pay the fee... Then we find out how much it's going to cost.

$95,000 for a bachelor's degree. Then we're like, Okay... what's a graphic designer get in salary? It may be worth it because we'll get a better salary than what I get now so it's easier to pay back loans, or make up for what we lost in paying it outright... and starting out it's what I get paid now and a bit higher. So 25,000-30,000 a year. Now that's obviously working for a company and I would go the freelance route so I doubt I'd make that much. And it would take me at least 5 years to complete the degree it since I could only do part time school with working full time.

So, when we get back home, the wheels start turning. Here's what we come up with (I asked myself at just about every point that was made... "are we sabotaging ourselves?", "am I wimping or psyching myself out?", and kept coming up with the answer "no")

• since I'd only be able to do 1/2 the work load, it'll take the 5 years to complete... can I keep that motivated for 5 years?!!!
• I wouldn't make much to pay back the education. It'd be slow going for a while.
• since I wouldn' be able to graduate for another 5 years (it keeps coming back to that timeline), we'll be putting money towards this fund for those full 5 years.. that means:
• no house
• no kids
• no play toys
• no splurges
• no money saving
• no trips to Harry Potter World in February! (hehehe, you bet that made the list!)

         until afterward of course. But that's 5 years!!! I'll be 29, my baby makers will be tainted... by 
         the time we save the money to buy a house (because C wants to make sure we have that 
         before kids)

• How much would I really be able to do at home for when I'm a stay at home mama?!

It was a major bummer to lay out all the chips. We have so many goals for ourselves and a family, and I feel like paying $100,000 towards an education for me can't be a part of it.  Yes I can apply for grants and scholarships... But how much would I actually be able to get? I may apply to thousands, but only end up with 20. And even then... 5 years?! The associates was still $56,000.. which is too high. I was really excited to experience college life, and learn new things, meet people, to be the "artsy fartsy" type.

But the risk isn't equaling or being greater than the cost to achieve it. So we decided to maybe learn it together. Not through a school. And not graphic design (we'd need to buy software in order to do it completely). But web design and development is a bit easier to work with and around. We walked to Borders earlier this evening and looked at some books that looked easy to follow and interesting, so we're going to look more in to that form of education. And maybe take a class together to learn the basics at the community college down the road. That and I wanted to do the photography angle. Not weddings or one time events, but something where I can have the chance to retry.


It looks like whatever we want to do now, it'll have to be done on our own time and not through schooling and degrees.It's no longer the right time, and it'd be so unfair to C and our future if I was so selfish. That's $100,000 towards a house, or our kid's after school activities or college funds, trips to HP World or Paris or Sweden, a new car for C or a safer one for me...


If I wasn't so tired I'd cry. Actually, I'm surprised I'm not crying. I think it's because C and I are both sad about it and an opportunity missed.