Marriage Myths according to Discovery Health (97 days)

By David Popenoe

#10

Myth: Because of the high divorce rate, which weeds out the unhappy marriages, people who stay married have happier marriages than people did in the past when everyone stuck it out, no matter how bad the marriage.

Fact: According to what people have reported in several large national surveys, the general level of happiness in marriages has not increased and probably has declined slightly. Some studies have found in recent marriages, compared to those of 20 or 30 years ago, significantly more work-related stress, more marital conflict and less marital interaction.

makes sense. probably thought that because people give up when things are getting "hard". Though, it doesn't mean that there aren't unhappy marriages.

#9

Myth: Cohabitation is just like marriage, but without "the piece of paper."

Fact: Cohabitation typically does not bring the benefits — in physical health, wealth and emotional well being — that marriage does. In terms of these benefits, cohabitants in the United States more closely resemble singles than married couples. This is due, in part, to the fact that cohabitants tend not to be as committed as married couples, and they are more oriented toward their own personal autonomy and less to the well-being of their partner.

I dunno if I agree with this. I think if you move in together too soon, then yeah. But I'm sooooo worried about C's well being. And he's worried about me too. We're constantly looking forward to OUR future and/or ambitions.

#8

Myth: Married people have less satisfying sex lives, and less sex, than single people.

Fact: According to a large-scale national study, married people have both more and better sex than do their unmarried counterparts. Not only do they have sex more often but they enjoy it more, both physically and emotionally.

well that's a relief! hahaha.

#7 

Myth: Marrying puts a woman at greater risk of domestic violence than if she remains single.

Fact: Contrary to the proposition that for men "a marriage license is a hitting license," a large body of research shows that being unmarried — and especially living with a man outside of marriage — is associated with a considerably higher risk of domestic violence for women. One reason for this finding is that married women may significantly under report domestic violence. Further, women are less likely to marry and more likely to divorce a man who is violent. Yet it is probably also the case that married men are less likely to commit domestic violence because they are more invested in their wives' well-being, and more integrated into the extended family and community. These social forces seem to help check men's violent behavior.

WHAAAT? Sometimes people are stupid. People really think this? Yeah, it can happen anywhere, but I don't think it's always by surprise. There's some signs that can be seen before it happens. Anger, lying, etc. Just make sure you're prepared to do what's necessary to keep you and whoever else involved safe.

#6

Myth: People can't be expected to stay in a marriage for a lifetime as they did in the past because we live so much longer today.

Fact: Unless our comparison goes back a hundred years, there is no basis for this belief. The enormous increase in longevity is due mainly to a steep reduction in infant mortality. And while adults today can expect to live a little longer than their grandparents, they also marry at a later age. The life span of a typical, divorce-free marriage, therefore, has not changed much in the past 50 years. Also, many couples call it quits long before they get to a significant anniversary: Half of all divorces take place by the seventh year of a marriage.

never thought it...

#5 

Myth: Couples who live together before marriage, and are thus able to test how well suited they are for each other, have more satisfying and longer-lasting marriages than couples who do not.

Fact: Many studies have found that those who live together before marriage have less satisfying marriages and a considerably higher chance of eventually breaking up. One reason is that people who cohabit may be more skittish of commitment and more likely to call it quits when problems arise. But in addition, the very act of living together may lead to attitudes that make happy marriages more difficult. The findings of one recent study, for example, suggest "there may be less motivation for cohabiting partners to develop their conflict resolution and support skills." (One important exception: Cohabiting couples who are already planning to marry each other in the near future have just as good a chance at staying together as couples who don't live together before marriage).

I think I don't believe in the myth or the fact because of the exception... I don't think there's a benefit to either or really. It's circumstantial. What if two people really don't want to get married, but they care and love someone just as much if not more as other married people... There's been so many times in C & my life where the personalities above would have broken up... but we didn't. I honestly don't think attitudes like ours will be affected by being married vs. not. Though the automatic respect that comes with being married vs. "shacking up" will ease any additional anger, but not by much....

#4

Myth: The more educated a woman becomes, the lower are her chances of getting married.

Fact: A recent study based on marriage rates in the mid-1990s concluded that today's women college graduates are more likely to marry than their non-college peers, despite their older age at first marriage. This is a change from the past, when women with more education were less likely to marry.

another "people are crazy" moment.

#3

Myth: The keys to long-term marital success are good luck and romantic love.

Fact: Rather than luck and love, the most common reasons couples give for their long-term marital success are commitment and companionship. They define their marriage as a creation that has taken hard work, dedication and commitment (to each other and to the institution of marriage). The happiest couples are friends who share lives and are compatible in interests and values.

pretty sure this thought-line is the main reason for so many divorces.

#2

Myth: Having children typically brings a married couple closer together and increases marital happiness.

Fact: Many studies have shown that the arrival of the first baby commonly has the effect of pushing the mother and father farther apart, and bringing stress to the marriage. However, couples with children have a slightly lower rate of divorce than childless couples.

stupid stupid stupid!!! Ah! People! having kids will not bring you together!!! Especially if you're not already close. Don't get pregnant if you're on the edge of the D line. Or if you're "afraid you're losing him". And it's best not to get pregnant until you're ready. I'm sorry, but if you're not financially able to care for your kid, it doesn't matter how much love you can give it... it won't put food in its stomach or warm water to bathe in. Once you have a kid, it's no longer about you. It's their chance to conquer the world. You've either conquered what you wanted before-hand, or you're giving up your right to conquer. You have to be selfless. Think to yourself: what if I get my lucky break? or what if I want to do this? can I accomplish all my goals and dreams with a child expecting everything from me?

In the words of Mike Birbiglia, you really shouldn't have kids until "there's nothing else good that can happen in [your] life". I won't be having kids ANY time soon (at least not on purpose) because I am way to selfish to give them what they need. If we do have kids before then, well, then that's where I lost my chance to conquer. It's their turn now.

And if you're not expecting stress.... then you're an idiot. Change it if you don't wanna be called an idiot... Especially if you're both working because you didn't properly prepare for and/or protect against kids.

#1

Myth: Marriage benefits men much more than women.

Fact: Contrary to earlier and widely publicized reports, recent research finds men and women to benefit about equally from marriage, although in different ways. Both men and women live longer, happier, healthier and wealthier lives when they are married. Husbands typically gain greater health benefits, while wives gain greater financial advantages.

hahaha.... hahahaha.... I'm sorry.. but these myths are kinda dumb. They show the level of education people get about adult issues. Marriage isn't natural for either gender (though there are always exceptions based on personality, etc). It is more beneficial for a woman to get married than a man. I have a feeling that most bachelors, even if that their whole life, will still get their health and well being taken care of by their mothers, sisters, aunts, etc if need be. Or they can do it themselves. Women are still expected to "marry off" and often times don't get better paying jobs or as high of education. I'm personally not complaining... Call it laziness, but I don't want to go to school for x amount of years to work at a boring job. Men are more likely to do that than women. It's the whole women vs men battle... Women live in the now (more emotional and spontaneous), men plan ahead (more logical and slow moving). 

That's a whole different topic though. 

Thanks guys! hahaha

:D

WARNING! COVER KID'S EYES!

LOL...... I should just buy this so when it comes in I can tell C we're using it, and see him freak out :D

Shut Up Rihanna

from TorontoSun[dot]com (I heard it on My 92.5 Radio first)

Rihanna is urging young girls not to embark on drastic diets in a bid to emulate catwalk models - insisting "size zero" is "not realistic and it's not healthy."


The 22-year-old star, who is famed for her slender figure and outlandish sense of style, is worried the fashion industry is indoctrinating women with an unhealthy attitude towards body image by only using super-skinny girls on the catwalk.


And the "Umbrella" hitmaker is adamant youngsters should never try to copy their idols because it is not "possible" to maintain such a tiny frame.


She tells Britain's You magazine, "You shouldn't be pressured into trying to be thin by the fashion industry, because they only want models that are like human mannequins. They know that if we see an outfit on a mannequin in a shop window we will love it and want to buy it whatever size we are. That's why they have size zero models - they want to sell clothes.


"You have to remember that it's not practical or possible for an everyday woman to look like that. Being size zero is a career in itself so we shouldn't try and be like them. It's not realistic and it's not healthy."


Okay.. Really? Let's dive in to this (aka.. the insane world of Amber's mind) because this hits really close to home. Not everyone is predisposed to have the natural "curves", just as not everyone is meant to be a size 0. Speaking from example here, those that are size 0 are not always happy with it. It took me years + birth control to gain an ounce of fat.
 
I weighed about 95lbs, size 0 and xsmall when I graduated high school. I was made fun of constantly and brought in to the counselor's office to "discuss" eating disorders at least 4 times each year. They would call my mom after I told them they were crazy. My mom told them they were crazy. But they just thought I was in the "denial" stage.
 
Wanna know what I did when I went home after every "meeting" (I call it an attack)? Cried. Got angry. Imagined punching every person who were "concerned" in the face over and over. All because I didn't eat in front of them. I have breakfast. I have dinner. To have lunch meant I needed to either pack it or buy it. And if you know anything about me, you know I'm constantly going. I don't like down time. So I obviously didn't have enough time to pack a lunch every day during the week. Not because I just didn't want to eat. Or I would have to ask for money from my parents, and that's not something I've liked doing. Ever.
 
My dad used to buy 2 10 packs of burritos and tacos from Taco Bell. I would eat 5-1/2 to 6 burritos before I was full. He thought it was so cool that I could stuff my face full of food that a grown man would have a hard time consuming, and not even show anything for it.
 
Because of their concern that I was a size 0 and "too small", and told entirely too often, I now have mental complexes. I DESPISE throwing up. In fact, at the soonest hint of a stomach ache, I go home. I don't want anyone to think I'm bulimic, so if I puke, it's in the comfort of my own home where C knows how much I hate it. I get really nervous saying "I'm not hungry". Because then I get "you're too skinny, eat something!".
 
So how dare she attack a size/figure of a person. Is it just because you want to feel better about yourself, Rihanna? Wanna know what she should say? Find out what your ideal weight is for your own health... then tweak it no less or greater than 10lbs to where you feel comfortable, confident and beautiful. Not everyone can gain weight!!! So attacking them for something that they have no control over, that's like me attacking you for your horrible voice. You have no control over it. Though, you could stop singing, that would help solve that problem.
 
To get rid of size 0 you would be discriminating against the biological makeup of a lot of people. If you're really concerned about kids thinking that they should look like a runway model, then you should attack them and their parents. Parents are there to raise their kids. Teach them the goods & bads, and allow them to come to their own beliefs and passions. Teach them how to gather all of the information and reach a decision themselves. If they decide they want to "follow along" then THEY decided that. Don't attack the fashion industry, they're doing their jobs. Selling clothes, promoting their business, employing people.
 
Stupid women. I hope you're never a single mother...

RIP Paul Gray

Since I'm a lover of rock and metal music, I'm just getting the word out that Paul Gray, bassist of Slipknot, died yesterday (May 24, 2010). Not sure why or how as of yet, it's just stated that it was sudden. Obviously, due to the rock lifestyle and the fact that he was 38, there has been speculation of substance abuse. But whatever, he's dead, that's the point of this post. I don't care how. It sucks either way. I wonder how Slipknot will move on. I mean, he wasn't the lead singer but it still has an effect on the people close to him.


But since the band is a business, I hope they can pull through and find a kick-ass bassist to move forward with. I know they'll still be able to produce great records even if Paul's not with them. And if it was caused by illegal substances, I hope that the rest of the band can see this as a warning... (if they're even doing it!!)

Try listening to a song of theirs (if you don't like metal: I recommend "Snuff") as a tribute! Thanks gals/guys for this moment!

yay!

Wanna know what I love?

I love it when pants that used to be tight and unforgiving are no longer like that.

Or when our Apt building says they're going to come into our place to show a prospective buyer (of the whole complex) and we made chinese food two days in a row so it just reeks of onions :D

and right now.... sleep. yeah.. that sounds really good.

What do you love?

Harry Potter awesomeness :D

OMG! Yes!! I watched through part 8 as of today. I too tired to enjoy it all :D The actors were awesome!! Do they look high school age? Hermoine should get an... is it academy award? lol.

Funny quote from Simpsons

Chief: "You really have that much faith in me?"

Simpson: "Faith is something you have in something that doesn't exist, your awesomeness is REAL!!"

lol... awwww.. I'm laughing at the "your awesomeness is REAL!" That sounds like something I would say :D

(pst.. spell check doesn't pick up "awesomeness"... is it a real word?!?!)

Experiment On Myself

So, in case you've never seen me before... you may not know that I have an awesome acne problem. I call it "awesome", when it really isn't. I do pretty good with covering it up with makeup (Bare Escentuals!!!!), but I wish I didn't have to!! It makes it impossible to get a tan.

Nothing I've tried works. Proactive, Murad, spot treatment, Neutrogena, Clearasil, some natural formulas (not hand made. I'm desperate, not crazy), birth control, that one heat thing that was like $150.00, sun, etc etc.

ACTUALLY, that's an almost lie.

So I say nothing works, but what I should say is that nothing works long term. At least, that's what I noticed over the past couple of years. I start with these facial regimen and every time everything seems to be working just fine. For about 2 to 3 weeks. Then we go back to Pizza Town. Or wherever. (I wish it was somewhere tropical with hunky men. OR San Diego with nerdy ones dressed up in superhero costumes!!)

Here comes the "experiment" part. I'm not bad enough to warrant needing professional medical testing and treatment. At least I don't think so. But, I'm going to try switching up my face washes every 2 weeks (or when my face gets really clear, that's when I go to the next one). I'll need about 4-6 different brands always, but I guess that's the price you have to pay for beauty. Or any semblance of beauty at least.

Anyway, have you heard about this kind of thing? The 2 weeks of the face wash either working or starting to work then stopping? I was hoping that after puberty my body would stop being so ridiculous, but no such luck. Although, the acne gives me a youth like appearance ;). BUT! In a couple of years, when I finally start looking 20-ish, I'll get the "pity-face" for not "growing out of" that phase.

By Popular Demand :D

My donuts got popular... okay.. not really... just by one person. Click here for the recipe I got off of Cooks.com. And here for my pictures :D

I altered it a little... since it's kind of confusing... and I suck at cooking ;). Obviously!!! Because the first batch burnt awesomely!

EASY DO DONUTS

1/3 c. sugar 1/2 c. milk 1 egg 2 tbsp. melted shortening 1 1/2 c. sifted flour 2 tsp. baking powder 1/2 tsp. salt Nuts, raisins, nutmeg or cinnamon (opt.) Combine milk, egg, shortening. Sift dry ingredients together and add to above. Gently drop teaspoons of batter into hot grease, 365 degrees. Drain on paper towels. While still warm shake in paper bag with confectionery sugar or granulated sugar mixed with cinnamon.

Hints (because I have no idea what the heck they were talking about):


-"Combine milk, egg, shortening" ummmm in a bowl...
-"Sift dry ingredients together and add to above" I don't have a sifter, so I put all that dry ingredient stuff in another bowl and used a fork to "fluff" it.
-"gently drop teaspoons of batter into hot grease, 365 degrees" I used Vegetable Oil because I dunno how to get grease?! Aside from car grease of course ;)-


I wouldn't put in more than 3 at a time. All the ones I burnt were in at the same time and it was hard to flip and watch before they all burnt.


Also, Medium to Medium-High heat is probably good for the oil.


After "drying" on the paper towel (and while they're still warm) I rolled it around in a cinnamon and sugar combo. The warmth helped to keep the cinnamon and sugar on the donut.

I was able to eat it too since it wasn't nearly as sugary as the store bought donuts are. I didn't even have any after-effects of sickness that usually happens when I eat sugar. yay! And C really liked them. Which is good, since most of the time, my first making of something (i.e. chocolate chip pancakes) are horrid at best.


**pst... I know, I'm hungry too! I didn't just torture you**

Paper Source

I heart Paper Source. It has the same feel of stores like Fuego. Fun, funky stuff. But they also have really great craft ideas and supplies. I bought my envelopes for my Save-the-Dates and Invitations :D

Some awesome ideas:

Control A Woman:

Description:

This humorous Control a Woman remote control will surely push a loved one's buttons. Commands for a man to press include "give me beer," "give me food," "stop nagging," "calm down" and more. Just point remote at subject, press relevant button for desired outcome, and hope for the best! Results may vary. A great gag gift or stocking stuffer for the man in your life!

Karma Check:

This one is especially great for Craig and I since we started watching My Name is Earl on Netflix (another one I love). It's a great no-thinkin show that you don't really need to follow every episode. Plus, the comedy of the poor hick life and absolutely no morals and how they translated it through the show, it's silly :D. Randy's my fav... Okay.. here's the fun stuff!--

Description:

Payback works both ways! This unconventional checkbook consists of two separate booklets-one for Good Karma and one for Bad Karma. The checks are preprinted with messages that apply to common daily scenarios. Good Karma Checks are intended for acknowledging positive moments (receiving an unsolicited favor, having an excellent conversation with a stranger), while Bad Karma Checks are for admonishing bad behavior (talking loudly on a cell phone in a public place, stealing a parking spot). Fun to fill out and utterly practical, Karma Checks are perfect for leaving a subtle-- or not-so-subtle message to a friend or stranger.

Cuss Cards - European Edition:

Description:

Cuss Cards European Edition playing cards translate useful English swear words, insults and slang into French, Italian, Spanish, German, Dutch, and Swedish. Whether studying a language, backpacking through Europe, or just traveling through life, use these Cuss Cards to spice up your game. A fun, quirky gift for a traveler or international friend with a sense of humor.


You can click here to check out the site :D

109 days :D Countdown

According to the banner at the top of the page, it says 3 months, 2 weeks and 3 days to go on my countdown... though it changes every day, so.. as of this post.. that's what we got (aka: 109 days)


Here's where we are from my May 4th post. Only a couple weeks this time :D


-Find a DJ, still need to do that... DONE!!!

-Find an Officiant: Found one, contacted her, she's free, just need to schedule a meeting and sign the contract

-Pick out Tuxes: DONE!!
-Get the Bridesmaid dresses rolling, DONE!! Just yesterday :D
-Contact and get the clutches made, sooooo I may have to make these myself. My bank needs more info in order to wire them money (to EUROPE!!) and the people aren't making it easy on me.
-Get my dress fitted [schedule it first!!], no progress on either.. need to schedule it, but I cant get it fitted until August..
-Book our room for the weekend, no progress
-Find out if there's a free premarital counseling place... n/a we're good :D
-Send Save-the-Dates [Or as C likes to refer it as: Save-the-Last-Date.. hahaha], DONE!! or should I say 1/2 done? because I still have 2 to send (1 for C's boss and 1 for a family member I just got the address to.. okay like 2 weeks ago I got it!)

-Rehearsal Dinner, no progress

-Day After Brunch, no progress

-Invitations [doing myself, so it's a big project], got the main invitation formatted! need to get the Directions, Guest Information, and a 3rd paper for something... and an RSVP + envelope for the "old peep" who don't know how to use the Internet ;)-)
-Bridal Shower [good thing I'm not dealing with that, but I still worry!!!], yay! my aunt/mom/sister are starting work on it :D
-Marriage License, cant do it before 30 days before :(

-Menu, changing a little bit :( I don't think craig would like to do the Pu Pu Platter.. so we have to choose our favorite 2 for the included appetizers. boooooooo

-Buy C's ring, still need to go to the store to find a no diamond ring he'll like... ugh. probably not for another couple weeks
-Bridesmaid accessories, silver jewelry and a golden/brownish/buffed copper shoes? maybe? don't care about the style
-Bride accessories, still need undergarments, jewelry(?), maybe just earings.. but that's it.

-Figure out what b/c I need to go on, OHHHH... ... birth control.. silly me :D. Yeah, that's still a work in progress, can't do hormonal ones so the only options are low hormone pills, depo, patch, & IUD (5 years)... thinking about IUD b/c I hate the others.
-Gifts for awesome helpers, ... any suggestions?

-Special Songs play list, no extra progress. Any suggestions on father/daughter dance? like.... what I should do with 2 dads?

-Find something to get rid of awesome acne [though, I don't expect anything to work, like always], I should make an appointment at the skin doc... because my face hates me.
-Out of Town Guest bags [which will be, like, everyone], got some candy for it!!! :D And my mom got some sanitizers. yay!
-Ceremony Programs, oh yeah... well I have the general format from the invites at least!
-Keep Track of RSVPs, still not possible
-Get my guest-book made [you'll see what I mean], I'm thinking about switching to a different guest-book maker... I really like theirs... I feel bad though :(.
-Get a picture on canvas [another, you'll see what I mean], DONE!! Just need it framed now!
-Get official "change your name" documents, ummm I wish I knew what to do there.
-Find Something new, blue, and borrowed... I have something old. Does it count if I wont' be wearing it until the end of the ceremony?, still don't know if the "something old" at the end of the ceremony works... what to do about NEW, BLUE, & BORROWED?????

-Make a timeline for people who have to be somewhere at a certain time, still not done.. I'll wait until the coordinator's is more finalized before copying it.
-Figure out if we want to do a receiving line or visit tables..., no progress...I think C wanted to do one of those.. but I can't remember which.
-Carmel apple centerpieces--can't do until the week before anyway. I am thinking about trying it though... I wish I had test dummies! But there are no kids I know of around here.

-Cake Alternative--DONE!! YAY!!! Apple Squares :D my Grandma Slagle's recipe. I hope she can make it if she comes! It's 1 million times better than when I make it. My mom's is just 1 under 1 million times better than mine.
-Make a card box holder thing... It'll probably be one of those picture holder/shoe box things. But one I can personalize. Not sure how yet. :( apples? paint? markers? paper? I'll go to Michael's again sometime this week and check it out! I have COUPONS!!!




That's BW (Before Wedding)... AW (After Wedding) I have to:





-Get on C's insurance, can't yet..though it might prove to be more difficult b/c I now have "pre-existing conditions".

-Merge our bank accounts [hopefully I can do that before hand] no progress... he tried too, he'll have to call to see what's up. He can't remember his password/username
-Change my name... on everything... can't

-Cry [I'll need it], haven't done yet!! (phew!)

-Send out announcements to family & friends, I haven't even thought of how I should send it...
-Get our new license [We've been holding off because I didn't want to pay twice for a new license],still nothing.
-Apply for scholarships to go back to school, still need to do the FAFSA one for them





Not tooooo bad.. but I keep thinking of things to add to the list. I am actually kind of enjoying all the self made stuff.. I dunno how long it'll last though!!!

Bridesmaid Dresses bought... CHECK!

So yesterday everyone bought their dresses!! !!!!!!! :D Thanks to my auntie Julie, everyone was able to still get it half off and within the time of the wedding :D. I didn't even think about it and just figured they'd get it eventually. The downside of being an "I-don't-care" bride.

Oh wellllz. It worked out.

ew, by the way... I don't like the word "bride". At least when it's referring to me. I'm not a bride yet! I'm a fiance to a frustratingly awesome person who AALLL the ladies love... ... ...

So the colors are locked in!!! and I'm super excited!!!!!!! :D

My invites are mostly done. Okay, half way. I've figured out the general template or design (prettttty dorky since I'm only working with Microsoft Word) but at least it's cute?! I ordered the envelopes the other day and they shipped out yesterday. They're the same dark brown as the Save-the-Dates, but I think I might change it. I made a pocket fold with the same color.. Good thing they're only $5 for a pack of 10 and I could always use cute envelopes.

I feel like with making everything. I spend more $$ because I keep changing my mind. I don't think so, but I just feel it. Maybe it's because I'm going to the store for more supplies each time instead of just ordering and being done with it. I like it though :D But I only have a 1 tracked creativity line, because it's making it hard to write my books while I do all this.

We got the canvas with one of our engagement photos on it! We just need to get it framed and then we can hang it up! Then use it at the wedding... somewhere. I'll probably update my to-do list today.. we'll see if I can get awake enough to actually attempt to work.

jusssst thinking

Is there a way to tell if your stressed when you're always this busy?

Or maybe the question is, can I be stressed when I'm always this busy and I feel sooooOOOoooo bored if I'm not this busy? Just like with appetites, everyone differs on what they can handle. I used to be able to handle 5 bean burritos from Taco Bell without problem or the impending "pregnant belly" of food. Now.. I eat 1 and I get large-and-in-charge.... Okay, not the topic...

Here's what I'm doing.. sure some of it's not everyday! but it's still at least done weekly (or a couple times in the week)

**sidenote** sorrrrrry in advance if this is "mumbo-jumbo" I'm super tired and taking medicine that makes me nauseous... and if you know me, you know I hate stomach aches..... they're my arch enemy (no, not the metal band with the chick singer.. guh.. so ick)

1. Work full time... or more (usually about 5-12 hours overtime each week--not too bad, but that means I get up at either 3:45am or 2:45am with only 6 hours of sleep each night. Otherwise I'd be here until 6:30pm waiting for traffic... and that cuts in to C&Amber time which is absolutely unacceptable).
2. Keep house--C helps a ton with this, though his slave driving tactics sometimes wear me out.
3. Wedding Planning--not as stressful as I thought (109 days left!) but there's still a lot to be done
4. Reading and writing reviews for my book blog
5. School--which isn't really school yet, but I'm adding it to the list anyway because I spend so much time worrying about it (right choice, will i get in?, etc etc.). And I have to do so many financial aid things leading up to actually attending so we hardly have to pay.
6. Learning HTML
7. Writing in my books (pick one)
8. Play soccer with C. I'm actually getting kinda good at kicking it.. I still don't know how to dribble though! But after about 1 month of learning, I'm happy I'm doing aaiiiiight :D

My eating could be more desirable, especially without eating lunch at work (they all think I'm on an extremely strict diet...aka.. no food.. but really, it's just laziness and/or saving money). And I still have all this pent up frustration/anger that I've done a good job hiding from my conscience. Actually, I thought I got rid of it by calming exercises I taught myself... But, certain things tick me off. I feel like throwing, smashing, hitting things/people/little black kitties by the name of Roguebear.... okay... jk.. I do feel like smashing and throwing though!

Sometimes I feel like I'm going to explode, but I've been able to zero in on what I like to do, and all those above are it.... there are definitely things missing from the list. Like photography, and joining a co-ed soccer team to play for realz. Or trying to join a co-ed softball team (I wish they had t-ball for adults).

Anywhozle..... that's life..... At least I don't have kids. I'm still too selfish to go that route yet, but if I did, I'm sure I'd be completely worn out. Rather than just... sorta worn out... or whatever.

Donuts

I don't know why, I was just craving some homemade donuts. So C let me make him some :D

Here's the first batch:

And it got better! I turned down the heat and only cooked 2 to 3 at a time :D

 

So we ate the good stuff and threw away the bad.

(pst..still haven't bought the new camera.. sorry it's still ick)

That's my attempt ... 8-ish.... at cooking!!! :D at least cooking something different...

Because I Want You to Smile Too

In case you didn't know... I love fun things (occasionally). Especially ones that make me smile and be happy for that person :D

I found this at My World of Books (a great book blog I follow). I don't like the original at all, but I love his rendition! I could probably listen to it every day.

Pay attention to the blond with curled hair and the brunette in the back row... they totally are in love with him after he opens his mouth to sing. That was so me in high school... and now, but my tastes have aged like I have.... because that would be even grosser than lusting after Taylor Lautner before he's legal. Appreciation for what he worked very hard to obtain and wanting to jump their bones are totally different!

ENJOY! (be sure to listen to "Broken Hearts" it comes up at the bottom after you finish Paparazzi).

Wedding Song Help...

So in case you were wondering, C & I enjoy dark and dreary and sometimes depressing music (it reminds us of the rain in Seattle ;)-). But I'm having troubles figuring out what song to dance to first. We've narrowed our choices down to 2 solid ones. Though we keep changing our minds on which to go first and/or finding new music we love just as much.

Our one constant love is Opeth (a Swedish metal band). But we keep having these passionate love affairs with a Finnish cello band called Apocalyptica. We can't make up our minds. Opeth is our longest love that we'll never cast aside and can always count on having open arms to welcome us back, more in love than before. But there's strong lust for Apocalyptica. To the point where we just want to rip off their clothes and pin them against the wall of an alley (okay... thinking of a romance novel... sorry!). 

Problem: 

Opeth's lyrics... will probably offend people. Not that it's crude or anything, it's just, not love inspired. Most of the time it's dreary feelings and death, it's not something someone would think to hear at a wedding. Especially when they growl. **mmmm, growl for me Mikael** So the song we chose is non-lyrical, but... it doesn't get the same feeling from us as the song we LOVE LOVE LOVE of Apocalyptica.

Apocalyptica... I don't know or care about meanings behind books/music/shows/movies. I just don't care. I don't take something I enjoy and make it painful for myself. I just enjoy it. So I don't know if the lyrics are ... bad? What do you think?

Lyrics:

I'm givin' up the ghost of love
Endure shadows cast on devotion
She is the one that I adore
Queen of my silent suffocation

Break this bittersweet spell on me
Lost in the arms of destiny

Bittersweet
I won't give up I'm possessed by her
I'm bearing a cross
She's turned into my curse

Break this bittersweet spell on me
Lost in the arms of destiny

Bittersweet, I want you
I won't let you go
And I need you
How I needed you
Break this bittersweet spell on me
Lost in the arms of destiny
Break this bittersweet spell on me
Lost in the arms of destiny

Bittersweet.
******
It reads like a love song.. sorta.. like a dramatic love song.. to me anyway, but it's performed in a way we ... *breathe* I dunno.. in a way we'd jump them in the alley. haha.


Tell me what you think?
Opeth - Patterns in the Ivy (non lyrical)





Apocalyptica with vocals by Ville Valo from HIM and Lauri Ylonen from The Rasmus:





We don't like HIM or The Rasmus (bummer, b/c they are the best in this video/song), but we don't hold back loving great music. I don't write the best ever every day (<---obviously), so I don't expect myself to appreciate someone's music 100% of the time...


Anyway, we're not going to do the traditional "I'll always love you. forever and ever and ever with little hearts and bows and frog kisses" kind of songs. (What's frog kisses???) Or really anything all that traditional... sorta. I dunno. We're not doing specific music that way. lol Trust me, our "song" used to be Amazed by..... Lonestar? It hasn't been that for so long... like 4 -1/2 years!

I'm kind of leaning more towards Apocalyptica first song and Patterns in the Ivy as the last song. What do you think? And PLEASE! I KNOW that it's our wedding and whatever we choose will be great, but... why would I be asking if that's the answer I'm looking for? Be as honest to me as I am to everyone please?! That's why I am the way I am... A whole different topic for later!! lol.


HELP!?

Our Weekend Organization

Here's what we did this weekend :D Closet/Craft organization!!!

We got this all at Ikea.. C didn't want to get anything too expensive or heavy, so we can get rid of it in a couple years when we move... or a few years... hehe.

 

It fits perfectly huh? We didn't even think to measure it first.... wooops! haha. As long as C is happy, I am happy :D

(Sorry for the crappy pictures.... I still haven't gotten my new camera yet!)

Holidays

Am I crazy? I don't like celebrating any holiday anymore... Not for myself anyway. I don't mind if others celebrate certain things, but I don't want to!


Valentine's Day: The only thing I'll ever celebrate this day for is it's the day C asked me to marry him. But even then, I don't think we'll ever celebrate it with dinner, flower, movie, hot passionate scrabble games ;). I don't care if anyone else celebrates it, and I don't think I'll stop my kids from celebrating it in elementary school. Though, I'd make sure they know that the only part of the holiday that is celebrated is the candy and sharing appreciation. I just don't want my son to be put at a high expectation on that day. And I don't want my daughter to put a guy at that high expectation. Because 99.9% of the time, it won't be "perfect" and if they are reasonable, they won't  be upset about it.

Easter: C & I aren't religious, so we don't celebrate this now. But if we had kids, we may have them hunt for eggs. As long as there's no scripture writing inside.. because then that's just rude!


St Patricks Day: This is just for drinking... don't need it. And it's for pointing out red heads... haha. That's about it. Won't be teaching my kids the green /pinching.. but I will secretly make sure they have green on so they don't get pinched at school, and petition to make sure their schools ban that from school. If my kid gets in trouble for it (probably) then they deserve it. Because it's mean and it hurts. Then when they get home, I'll be punishing them too!!! double whammy! haha.


Cinco De Mayo: Same thing.. It's just to get drunk. And it's not a US Holiday... It's a Mexican holiday, and C & I are different varieties of white...

Mother's Day: Let me start off by saying that I don't want to stop celebrating this for others. I just don't want C or my kids to feel like they have to take this day to tell me they love me and I'm the bestestest mother in the world. There are several reasons for this.. I don't like flowers... so getting those would be pointless. And one that counts as about 6: I'm not emotional. The most emotional I get is with Mr. Monthly (not often) and when I'm telling C how much he means to me. I don't like saying it to anyone else or even hearing it from anyone else. Not even C. So if 1 day out of the whole year I overdosed on "good feelings" then I think I'll die from said overdose. Plus, I think every parent should hear it more than just 1 day a year. Even if it's just a thank you for something random you did, or an "I love you" at the end of a conversation. Because, they don't need to say the "thank you" or the "I love you", and you shouldn't make them FEEL like they should. If you raised them right, they'll do it because they compel themselves to. 

I know, I'm not a mother so I don't understand, but from just from how I thought when I grew up... I felt like I did say thank you enough, but that extra day a year, I hated... Because of the "emotional" self I had to be. It makes me uncomfortable... 

Father's Day: I will TOTALLY celebrate this if C wanted to. But the way I would celebrate? Plan a group thing with a bunch of families... get loads of beer and movies (ones for guys, but I would totally love too!), and take all the kids and wives out of the house! Leave them to their games, talk, movies, and video games. Because even though it's father's day and it's for celebrating their fatherhood, I bet 95% of dad's, if they could choose, would like a day to themselves. Or with their buddies. Totally understandable, since I'm sure I'd want the same. A peaceful day for me or a day out with girlfriends, that would be nice :D And that's just from thinking  of all the work kids are!

Grandparent's day: This one... I actually like. Because I don't talk to or see my grandparents. So something to let them know they're being thought of, even if free time is against everyone. I would definitely accept and love it if my grandkids dropped me a line. HOPEFULLY I won't be crazy by the time they come around.. But then, I'll be happy if my kids wait as long as or even a little bit less than how long C & I are planning to wait before kids.

Halloween: it's fun to dress up, and I would let my kids participate.. I don't care if they dress "slutty"... as long as the good parts are covered.

Veteran's Day: More sentimental stuff... I don't feel comfortable doing it. I won't stop my kids from participating it though!

Thanksgiving: Ugh... As long as I don't have to cook, or tell everyone what I'm thankful for. I don't like the sentimental crap ! Sorry! I'll just make a joke. i.e. Going to Thanksgiving last year and meeting family I didn't know I had, I said something along the lines of: "I'm thankful that you guys let me crash the party."

Christmas: another ugh... We're not religious, so we won't be doing that kind of celebrating. And I don't think I want to make a big production out of this for my kids. I don't want them to expect anything. It'll be: Do you want 3 gifts on Christmas and some all throughout the year? or none throughout the year and get it all for Christmas? I'm sure they'll change their mind to the 3 gifts for Christmas only once they want something and I can't get it for them. haha.


Yeah, I don't like holidays... For myself. I like helping other's celebrate it for their own fun, but it's not for me...

Sent Save-the-Dates!

Man! I wanted to get a picture of them all! damn... But I don't have my awesome new camera so I don't have the obsessive need to take pictures..

But I sent them yesterday! :D

Super excited!! Things are finally rolling... sort of. lol. I have to redo the invitations, but I won't be able to send those for a little while.. Is July too late?

How Much Is Your Mom Worth?

According to Salary.com you're mom's salary is:


(And don't forget the overtime!)

         Stay-at-Home Mom: 58.9 hours of overtime
         Working Mom: 20.5 hours of overtime

With time and a half for overtime, if an employer had to pay cash for all that mom does:


          Stay-at-Home Mom: $117,855.86
          Working Mom: $71,860.37*
*This is on top of Working Mom’s regular salary, of course.

.. I wanna be a paid stay at home mom! lol.

124 days! Lets see where we are...

According to the banner at the top of the page, it says 4 months and 1 day on my countdown... though it changes every day, so.. as of this post.. we have 4 months and 1 day left!!

Here's where we are from my April 5th post. Wow, just about a month has gone by...

-Find a DJ, still need to do that... eeek
-Find an Officiant, Found one, contacted her, she's free, just need to schedule a meeting and sign the contract
-Pick out Tuxes, did it two weekends ago :D
-Get the Bridesmaid dresses rolling, no progress
-Contact and get the clutches made, emailed her, but there's no response yet (it's only been 1 day so far)
-Get my dress fitted [schedule it first!!], no progress on either.. need to schedule it, but I cant get it fitted until August..
-Book our room for the weekend, no progress
-Find out if there's a free premarital counseling place... Craig refuses to pay for that, what we needed to hash out in couseling (me being a stay at home mom) has been dealt with :D we're taking the necessary steps to make sure I have some form of work while home.
-Send Save-the-Dates [Or as Craig likes to refer it as: Save-the-Last-Date.. hahaha], SOOO CLOSE! They're printed, sitting on my kitchen table.. they're just waiting to be sent (waiting for addresses and guest list finalization).
-Rehearsal Dinner, no progress
-Day After Brunch, no progress
-Invitations [doing myself, so it's a big project], no progress--need to go back through and alter them b/c we're changing our theme a bit (to include apples!!). I need to see how much I've already done can be passed over.
-Bridal Shower [good thing I'm not dealing with that, but I still worry!!!], not yet...
-Marriage License, cant do it before 30 days before :(
-Menu, i think we already go this one figured out... see here
-Buy Craig's ring, we'll go back to the stores in the next couple weeks to see which ones he likes.. no diamonds. I know that! ;).
-Bridesmaid accessories, can I just say.. "whatever you want"? I just need to figure out shoes I think, then the rest is up to them.
-Bride accessories, still need undergarments, jewelry? if I want any.. a tiara.. which I think Angela's getting, but I won't press since she has a lot going on. I may go without anything on my head... besides my hair
-Figure out what b/c I need to go on, huh? wtf am I talking about? sometimes I'm such a crack head.
-Gifts for awesome helpers, ... any suggestions?
-Special Songs play list, I think we figured out at least half of it... I just need to figure out how the whole "father-daughter" dance is going to work...
-Find something to get rid of awesome acne [though, I don't expect anything to work, like always], ummm no luck.. bought this stuff for $30... b/c they had great reviews, and no such luck. Maybe I'll have to go to the skin doctor.
-Out of Town Guest bags [which will be, like, everyone], Probably won't do until the week before
-Ceremony Programs, crap.
-Keep Track of RSVPs, not possible so far... yes!
-Get my guest-book made [you'll see what I mean], I emailed them, and they're willing, but bff wants to try it first so I don't have to spend $60.00
-Get a picture on canvas [another, you'll see what I mean], got the disc with our pictures!!! so I can do that this weekend.
-Get official "change your name" documents, sometimes I wish this was easier... okay, all the time I wish this was easier... but I'm not going to worry about it until after the big things are done.
-Find Something new, blue, and borrowed... I have something old. Does it count if I wont' be wearing it until the end of the ceremony?, still don't know if the "something old" at the end of the ceremony works... what to do about NEW, BLUE, & BORROWED...
-Make a timeline for people who have to be somewhere at a certain time, have a sort of schedule... but it's from my coordinator... so maybe i'll copy off that..
-Figure out if we want to do a receiving line or visit tables..., no progress...
-Carmel apple centerpieces--can't do until the week before anyway.
-Cake Alternative--YAY!!! Apple Squares :D my Grandma Slagle's recipe. I hope she can make it if she comes! It's 1 million times better than when I make it. My mom's is just 1 under 1 million times better than mine.


And that's all before the wedding... After the wedding, I have to:

-Get on C's insurance, can't yet..
-Merge our bank accounts [hopefully I can do that before hand] no progress.. tried! but it kept being mean.
-Change my name... on everything... can't
-Cry [I'll need it], haven't done yet!! (phew!)
-Send out announcements to family & friends, hmmmm
-Get our new license [We've been holding off because I didn't want to pay twice for a new license], hmmm
-Apply for scholarships to go back to school


SOOOOO, in conclusion.. I'm either very unmotiviated, or slow. or something.