But the weirdest part of all of it is that my doctor says I'm "sweet" all the time. She always says "oh, your bf is so lucky to get a sweet girl like you." I want to laugh and say: "Yeah? Remind him of that please." Then I started thinking... have gotten more submissive lately? Maybe it's more of being reserved than it is submissive. I'll still bark at you if you are an idiot, or you need a good yellin' at. But I'm not constantly down every one's throats anymore.
One theory I've been able to come up with after pondering about this for several hours is this:
I stopped buying into the whole "I'm a woman, I can do it all!" thing. Because, as cool as that sounds, it's not true. Just like saying a man can do it all. It's impossible. The reason why we have the two is because one gives and takes love while the other controls when it goes wrong. Don't get me wrong here either, two men, I think are pretty capable of covering just about all of both parts. On the other hand, two women can't. I'm sorry. Bitchz-be-crazy. [Yes, there are exceptions, and congratulations if you are, but I'll bet the majority of women/women can't]. Anyway! another conversation for a different day.
So I stopped buying into the "powerful woman" thing and started enjoying [and seeing the benefits] of being the "strong supporter" woman. And in doing that, I'm a lot less angry, Mr. Monthly isn't so emotional [still painful], I'm kinder to everyone [especially C]. I'm happier. And when I'm happier, C's happier. So, if I have to take a step out of the spotlight and let C take over, then hell, I'll do it if it means I don't have to stress.
Because stress for me = crazy. Stress for C = hold inside, fume internally, fix it, move on.
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